Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
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Philicia, 110894Philicia Ang Create Your Badge I felt that night, on the stage, incredibly close to everything in the universe, but also extremely alone. I wondered, for the first time in my life, if life was worth all the work it took to live. What exactly made it worth it? What’s so horrible about being dead forever, and not feeling anything, and not even dreaming? What’s so great about feeling and dreaming? — Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close Tagboard
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Wednesday, April 20, 2011
I fucking hate myself laaaaa. Dang, how i wish i was fucking perfect. BUT I'M NOT! :( And, i have a fucking attitude. Sometimes i really don't understand myself and my attitude. When i don't like someone, i seriously don't like. As in ya, i don't know why i see some people right, i just don't really like them, some maybe i don't know them ba. Ha. I want to change myself! But i don't want to change my attitude la, cause that makes me different! Hehe. :D Actually, i think i just want to change the way i look physically, not the way i am. I am really really trying to you know. I believe that i will succeed. I believe i can! :D Oh ya, anyway, i just saw something which i feel totally disgusted. Well, i think i'm like getting over it already. I think it's kinda true that when you like 2 person at one time, choose the 2nd one. Because if you truly like the first one, you wouldn't have liked the 2nd one. So ya, but it's kinda lame. I just think that he's cute and ya. Just cute lo. As in he don't look cute, his actions are cute. Whenever i see him right, i just feel... shy? I don't know. Ahh, i suck. Bye. Saturday, March 19, 2011
Holding on, Ok, this is dead. I'm gonna update now. :) Ya, i had sucha bad holiday. Nothing is going my way. Things are not what i wanted it to be. Had chinese oral, counted in SA1. Fuck it, it was so so so damn bad. I think i might fail. :( Then i had chemistry clinic lesson on tuesday and wednesday. But i only went for tuesday and not wednesday. After the chemistry lesson, met up with ruyi. She actuallt treated me and emma to Mos buger. First time sia! I thought she had changed. But the fact is, she haven't! Went to slack with ym on wednesday. Talk quite alot and slacked at mac until like 12 plus before heading home. Bo bian, contacts drying. :( Then thursday went out with ym and ruyi. Slacked then went to kbox @ bedok. Sing sang sung. <: Dinner @ bedok interchange. This was when i realized that ruyi didnt change a single bit! She told me that i need not pay her the remaining $2.80 for the kbox, but after she ate finish, she took my wallet. I realized that she did not put it back. I waited, then i saw my wallet on her hands. So i asked her "why you taking my wallet?" She just smiled and paused for a minute before taking my $2 and thinking of reasons to get it back. So i just told her to take it. -.- Like whatthefuck bodoh. I thought she really don't mind the $2.80. Dammit, i don't want to think already. Haha. I really don't want school to start soon, so sucky. Somemore i don;t know what to do for OTP for f&n. I am soooooooooooooooooo behind time ~ :( Saturday, March 12, 2011
That voice which melted hearts Went to orchard with ym yesterday. I wanted to get that peacock headband from f21 so badly, but it was SOLD OUT! !@#$% abcdefg. I was so disappointed. Went to shop around. Time kinda flies. We didn't even went to the other levels and it was already 7pm. Walked around, talk and took pictures. Hehe. Saw a lot of nice clothes, but didn't have the money to get them. I am gonna save money to buy them, wait for me baby! I will buy you home. ^^ Not a lot of people though, quite disappointed. LOL. While walking to taka, we heard two guys singing. They were great, i think they are some sort of street busker. Especially the one singing. Didn't really care at first, so we went to taka/wisma. Walked around. And we were back outside, back to the place where that guy sings. We actually went to somewhere else to sit, but we thought that sitting in front of them we can enjoy him singing. His voice is amazing. I swear i could sit there the whole day just to hear him sing. His voice really melted my heart. Somemore, all the songs that he sing is kinda related to love, which made me fall for his voice. If only someone would sing that kind of song to me. My gaaaaaaaawd! I will be like.. not knowing what to do. LOL. Took the mrt back and bused home. :) Picture speaks louder than words, let my pictures speak. Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Well, i thought that was just admiration, and you have already disappeared from my mind. Ha, but little did i know, you are still on my mind. LOL. You are like perfect. You are humorous. Aiya, you are the kind that i like. There are times whereby i really feel like sending you a text. Hi or to inform you that i have changed my number or something. But i don't know how to start. You might find me weird or even crazy. Haha. My life has not really been what i want it to be. If i could turn back the clock, i will not lose contact with you. Alright, it has been days since i last talked to my father. Don't feel like talking to them. When i talked to my mother this morning, i sill got sort of a scolding from her. I really need to let my hair down. I need to let everything out of my mind. Maybe i need to cry. .___. I don't even remember when i last cried. But i doubt i will be able to cry. Haha. AND, MR FRANCIS TEO IS A CHEATER ! HE WANT ME TO GO FOR REMEDIAL BEFORE GIVING ME MY CHOCOLATE ! T.T Sunday, February 20, 2011
Okay, life have been pretty much the same. Nothing much happened. Sometimes, people describe the way i talk guailan, like ah lian. I dont know why. But I talk like a normal person. Haha. Ya, I kinda hate my life. Nothing goes right in my life. Getting scolded for nothing. Yeah, it happens all the time. I used to get all the attention from my parents. But after I had my youngest brother, everything changed. He stole all the attention from my parents. I don't really care anymore. I prefer talking to my friends, telling all my troubles and problems to them,than telling them to my parents. To me, home is like a place for me to sleep, bathe and watch tv. I realize that I don't really eat at home. I rather eat outside. My uncle keeps threatening me. Wanted to give my dog and rabbit away. I really hate it when they threatens to give my pets away. They are such idiotic people. I spend my money the way I want. Stop saying that I anyhow spend or whatever. You said that I keep asking money from you, and I should give you my pay. Have you ever wondered if I gave you my pay and I have no money to spend, I still will take money from you right? I admit, I anyhow spend money. But sometimes, when something happens, you like to talk about the past. You blame me for buying things. But lemme tell you, I bought that in December. Now you are still harping on it ! Fml. You don't understand me. I think you don't even know what I like. What I like to eat, who are my best friends etc. You only look at the bad side of me. You don't even look at what I am good at. This whole week is no different from other weeks. Except mr Francis teo owes my my chocolate !! I will get it from him tomorrow ! This week have been kinda free. Teachers on mc. Maths, any teacher but vinay, please. And physics, I hope mr Harold goh will teach us. Chinese, worse. Teachers caring only for the 4es. No one really care about sec 5s. Saturday, February 12, 2011
Today is kinda fun . Went out with ym. Went to 313 and orchard. We went to cairnhill Sakura for dinner. First time eating Sakura, first time eating buffet. Eat a bit full already. Omg. I eat until vomit. Too full. Hehe. The food was not bad. We walled around 313 before dinner. Haha. Guess what? I saw.. Hehehehe. The people are cute. But not a lot uh . But still, I feel happy. Lol. Oh ya, when we going back, I saw this group. We thought they are going back too, but.. They didnt go to the mrt station ! ): Cute, stylish. Hehehehe. Saturday, February 5, 2011
What do guys look for in girls ? Pretty? Cute? Attractive? Skinny? Just the way they are? Or simply fuckable? -.- Chinese new year have been pretty much boring. Been doing nothing. Went to grandma house and papa's house. Eat, eat, eat. Ohmytian. Today, people are coming. Not sure how to describe them. But relative uh. Other than these, i have been stating at home watching tv. -.- Watching plain jane. It's so incredible. I wished that i was like her. Fallen for her one of her best friends. 6 years of friendship. She transformed into a bombshell. Well, her best friend, which was her crush, actually had a crush on her during high school. No one confesses. Until she transformed into a bombshell and told him. They are happily together. If only the guy i like, like me too. But i don't know who i like. Guys who i think are perfect, are guys who are impossible to get. Really impossible. They are just too perfect. Tall, handsome, cool, cute, stylish, best is know how to cook. HAHA. Perfect guys are either attached, bi or homo. So ya, hard to find the perfect guy huh. Especially when i myself is imperfect. Everyone have their flaws right ? I have mine too. But i have more than i can mention. Imperfect me needs someone to make me perfect. :D PS. I'm a SHY girl. |
But baby, where they knock you down and out
Is where you oughta stay |